Biopowered - vegetable oil and biodiesel forum
General => Chatter => Topic started by: K.H on March 13, 2015, 05:39:48 PM
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Oxford University researchers have discovered the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element, Governmentium (symbol=Gv), has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.
These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called pillocks.
Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact.
A tiny amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally take less than a second, to take from 4 days to 4 years to complete.
Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2 to 6 years. It does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganisation in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places.
In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganisation will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.
This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration.
This hypothetical quantity is referred to as a critical morass. When catalysed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium (symbol=Ad), an element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium, since it has half as many pillocks but twice as many morons.
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Pb travelling at 1000 m/s is rumoured to be an effective antidote.
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Very funny with a sad element of truth (see what I did there?)
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Pb travelling at 1000 m/s is rumoured to be an effective antidote.
nicely jacketed in Cu of course
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Brilliant, unfortunately very very true.
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the reaction can be slowed down even further by mixing with europium parlementium. this has a large surplus of both morons and pillocks. this will bring all reactions to a dead stop for up to 7 years sometimes even longer.